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lesmodsalouette) wrote2025-03-16 03:54 am
lesmodsalouette) wrote2025-03-16 03:54 am
Graveyard
Graveyard
The garden is still sprawling and green – despite having entirely lost all its riotous flowers and colors, along with any sign of wildlife or birdsong – though one thing stands out more than anything else: from Monday to Thursday, you can’t see the castle anymore. All that remains where it once stood (or perhaps, usually stands) is an incongruously large tree that towers over everything else and somehow looks larger and more imposing than the castle ever did. The tree’s branches are bare, without any hint of life nor leaf – however, on the weekends (that is to say, Friday through Sunday) a faint projection of the castle appears around it, cradling the only things that the denizens of this alternate garden can see in detail from the other side: the flurry of activity around the investigation, the circus-like dimension that holds the trial, and the mirrors and the grassy dimension that display the execution.
For those curious what the land of the living are up to, a mirage-like and upside-down reflection of the castle garden in its original arrangement can be spotted occasionally overlaying the sky. This strange illusion may sometimes show those in the garden on the other side, flitting in and out of view like stray clouds; but much like the weather, their appearance is mercurial – they cannot be reached and cannot be heard.
Water, Flower, Everywhere
The fountains remain active somehow, though their features seem to have eroded, obscuring the identities of the deities and the wings of the birds, cracking pottery down into nothing but worn shards and handles. At night, only maybe half the lights work (and here they are real candlelight, rather than magical), plunging most of the garden into crepuscular darkness. The trellis walkway looks quite overgrown (mysteriously, bamboo is taking over), entirely covering some statues and other features along its length, and it’s no longer walkable – a miniature canal runs the whole length underneath the arches, feeding into other new waterways around the garden that cut off footpaths seemingly at random. There are small footbridges here and there, but the lack of logic to the whole arrangement makes falling into one of the streams or canals a real hazard.
The waterways do all manage to converge at the pond by the pavilion – neither of which are all that soothing or classical anymore. The pond is only half-full, and entirely lacks water lilies or any dragonflies; its banks sit jagged above the dark waters, and perhaps that’s why the pavilion, too, is half collapsed down into it all. Gone are the curtains and ivies; only dead curling vines and half-collapsed columns are left, but there’s still someplace to sit if you put your mind to it.
Most of the flowerbeds sit fallow or overtaken by weeds – there’s signs here and there that someone might have tried to clear them out, but the bulk of the effort seems to have gone to the orchard by the gardener’s cottage. It might be more accurate to say cottages, given that there are a few of them dotted around that area for some reason. None of them are locked, but all of them have only minimal furnishings apart from the original; they’re also all provided with the full complement of gardener’s tools. Next to them, there are new saplings and half-grown flowering trees: some pear and apple, but also some not. There are new shoots in the kitchen orchard that have just barely taken root, the dirt recently turned.
The waterways do all manage to converge at the pond by the pavilion – neither of which are all that soothing or classical anymore. The pond is only half-full, and entirely lacks water lilies or any dragonflies; its banks sit jagged above the dark waters, and perhaps that’s why the pavilion, too, is half collapsed down into it all. Gone are the curtains and ivies; only dead curling vines and half-collapsed columns are left, but there’s still someplace to sit if you put your mind to it.
Most of the flowerbeds sit fallow or overtaken by weeds – there’s signs here and there that someone might have tried to clear them out, but the bulk of the effort seems to have gone to the orchard by the gardener’s cottage. It might be more accurate to say cottages, given that there are a few of them dotted around that area for some reason. None of them are locked, but all of them have only minimal furnishings apart from the original; they’re also all provided with the full complement of gardener’s tools. Next to them, there are new saplings and half-grown flowering trees: some pear and apple, but also some not. There are new shoots in the kitchen orchard that have just barely taken root, the dirt recently turned.
Hedge Maze(?)
The other most eye-catching feature is what once was an ornamental hedge maze: instead of being a tame height here, it has seemingly grown wild and completely unchecked, towering above the rest of the garden almost like its own overgrown mountain. The hedge walls go up and up and up, making it entirely impossible to see the center or even how far it goes despite the fact that sections of the hedges have also died, reduced to the branches underneath, bristling with interlocked thorns.
Part of it had even spilled over into the garden itself, huge gnarled branches spreading out like burnt-blackened fingers all the way to the edge of the pond – wherever the branches touch, even the greenery is withered, and any statues look more ruined than those in the rest of the area. As of the end of Week 3, however, the branches have retracted entirely and the way into the hedge maze has opened even more. However, there is now a storm brewing over what might be the center or the general area of it. Getting close to the hedge maze or any of the hedge(?) branches is... unpleasant, though it doesn’t usually go beyond a buzz of wrongness and a slight headache.
Part of it had even spilled over into the garden itself, huge gnarled branches spreading out like burnt-blackened fingers all the way to the edge of the pond – wherever the branches touch, even the greenery is withered, and any statues look more ruined than those in the rest of the area. As of the end of Week 3, however, the branches have retracted entirely and the way into the hedge maze has opened even more. However, there is now a storm brewing over what might be the center or the general area of it. Getting close to the hedge maze or any of the hedge(?) branches is... unpleasant, though it doesn’t usually go beyond a buzz of wrongness and a slight headache.
*them!!!!
he wants to reach out and hug siffrin to make sure they’re all there. does their heart beat here? or does ish still have it? he wants to check, but the choice is siffrin’s whether or not they want to touch this monster they once knew as jin, as yoru.
siffrin had believed a good in him. ]
I’m… well, I don’t know! I’m a mess? Haha… and now I’m here.
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[ ... ]
Kinda hoped I wouldn't have to see anyone else from Water Lily, though. Here.
[ (Because it hurts. You're so happy, so so happy to be able to see them again, and yet--)
Siffrin'll put the wine down, stepping closer to take the other's hands. Reaching out first. Touching first, a small smile on their face. They're both monsters, but his friend doesn't understand why. ]
... I missed you both. [ Yoru, Jin. ] But I only want to see Yoru. Jin... shouldn't have to deal with this, too. Not out of nowhere.
[ Not that they think Yoru'll have a problem with that set up. ]
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Don’t worry.
[ his hands curl around siffrin’s, firm rather than gentle. a desperation to believe they truly are standing here together. ]
He’s sleeping and he will stay sleeping until…
[ he pauses to consider what comes after until. ]
The dream ends, I suppose. He’s never awake for the kill.
[ yoru’s never let him see the final moments. ]
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[ As always, and Siffrin returns the squeeze before they pulls Yoru closer, pressing his hand against their chest. Beneath two layers of fabric is the certain thump of a heart, assuring in the afterlife, and they tilt their head back to look at him. ]
I can make you another buck once we're out of here. It'll move around. Could "graze" right out of your hand, and... I'll make something for him, too. As long as you give me more time to get to know him the way I've grown to know you.
[ There's still the matter of questions Siffrin needs to ask, but-- first, this. This, this, this. ]
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You met him first, you know. He's the one who came to you after you found the body.
[ yoru still disagrees with being called gentle, when jin exists to be that part of them. ]
But - yes, please, make another buck for me. And another if it disappears again. And another.
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(It won't be farther than this.) ]
... I kind of figured. Your personalities are so different, but I wasn't sure why. [ Rubbing against his hand like a small cat. ] I like both of you. And sure, I'll make as many as you want.
[ Because-- Yoru didn't get to hear this, but-- ]
When you make something... for someone, a little part of you goes into it. So you're giving a bit of yourself, to them.
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[ then that just means the first gift siffrin gave him, the first part of them he held in his hands - it was deleted by time, winked out of existence like nothing.
that cuts him sharply, a keening pain. he knows how it is to exist as a concept only in someone’s mind. to leave no physical mark. ]
I want to get it back. The first one you made me.
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[ But it's said with some resignation, because-- Siffrin understands, but that's just how time loops are.
Their hands drop still holding Yoru's, and he squeezes them gently. ]
But every other one will have part of me too, so that'll have to be good enough. The loops will stop. You won't ever lose them, or me, again. I promise.
[ And he keeps his promises, doesn't he? ]
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they might have to spend the next however long they have until the announcement just holding hands because yoru is too emotionally worn to let go first. ]
I want to do something in return. Or give you something, not anything physical because… [ the last physical thing he made was a corpse out of yoonhee, and that wasn’t even his finest work. ] So maybe… a promise or…
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(... What do you want, right now. Overwhelmed as you are. Filled to the brim with happiness, with affection. You can't stand it. It would've been worse if Raha had died, you know, but Yoru's just as bad. You were his first, after all.) ]
... Can I be selfish?
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I want you to.
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[ Everyone Siffrin cares for so deeply wants them to be selfish.
(Promise me that you will allow yourself what you want from me, and I will follow suit.)
But it's a problem, because they're already so terribly selfish. ]
Okay. [ ... ] Don't take this romantically, because... I have someone I like that way, but I'd like to kiss you. Because you're important to me.
[ And kissing feels really, really nice. Hwy was unfortunately onto something. Why can't we kiss friends. ]
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Someone told me that we already love each other.
[ not romantically, but something equally fierce. maybe siffrin already knows, too. they are wiser than him to have tricked ish at his own game.
and a kiss is… well, yoru likes kissing.
he leans in, tilting his head just so to slot their lips together, soft and sure. only a little bit heat because he’s a wicked thing. just like their clasped hands, he won’t be the first to pull back. ]
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(You want to kiss him like this, too. Soft and sure. Something that isn't tinged with desperation or insecurity, like nails digging into skin just to keep him from leaving -- but something like this, a promise all on its own. Your chest aches so, so terribly.)
Siffrin returns it gently, a quiet laugh behind his lips at the small, wicked bit of heat, and it's fine that Yoru won't be the first to pull back since they'll do that for the both of them. He always does, others letting him set the pace. It's... nice. ]
They're right. Water Lily's still important to me.
[ How they accepted him one way or another, even in indifference, sat with him and kept their arms open. It's... the same as their family members, but-- there's no history, and Siffrin's learned about themselves since those early days. How much they want to be touched, like a normal person. How much they truly like to be around people. It's easier, then, to be just a bit more open, a bit more selfish. ]
... That's why I wanna know what happened between you and Yoonhee, too. We can sit inside if you want.
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the way he kisses cain is different because it’s always been sexual, then… romantic. (he’ll never kiss cain again, never see him again. the hole where his heart used to be screams in phantom pain for what is missing. yoru wishes he had a door to shut it.)
the way he’s kissed hwylryn is different because they are two creatures, hungry and savage. (he’s not hwylryn’s anymore, so that’s it. that’s it. it hadn’t meant anything.)
but siffrun pulls back and yoru lets them. it was a nice kiss. he just doesn’t know if it was a siffrin kiss. ]
You mean why?
[ he’ll follow whenever siffrin goes, naturally. ]
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But to...
... No, they... want to bring Yoru to the cherry blossoms, because the shade is Mira's favorite and they think he looks lovely with the petals dotting his lightless hair. They'll sit at the roots of the large tree, far from the blackened maze.
(It's familiar. But you aren't sitting with Loop, this time.) ]
Yeah. I didn't think you and him had that bad of a relationship when I died.
[ As if Yoonhee had a relationship with anyone. ]
cw: suicide ideation
Our relationship is fine.
[ that is, the same as always. no relationship, according to yoonhee. unchanged, according to yoru. siffrin can pick their own truth from that. ]
But he's... the only one in Water Lily who would have killed me and not... been wrecked from it. I wasn't looking to die, but I did want to be free from... my feelings. From the others.
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[ If that's what he wanted. ]
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[ hm. actually. ]
Numb enough. You're here, so...
[ it's better here, where the living aren't. ]
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[ Just joking, a bit, since... he'd called out for them, looked for them, before anyone else. Siffrin'll catch one of the petals to play with. ]
... Even with as many loops as I've gone through, my feelings for others don't numb at all. Even though I know everything they're gonna say. It still makes me happy to hear it every time.
[ Less so, now.
But that's only because they've gotten used to it. That kind of numbness, rather than... one thanks to the cold. So to speak. ]
So it's pretty hard.
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[ he laughs quietly, as though any louder and he'd disturb the petals on them. ]
I'm not used to feelings being hard, you know. Or... [ he adds with a furrow: ] ... complicated.
In the end, it just felt like... there was nowhere to run from them. So! To the person I - mm - I couldn't let go of, and to the person who let go of me: I severed myself from both. Then from the people who wouldn't vote for me. I kept Jin asleep and killed - because that's what I'm best at.
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It's strange, to hear of things being let go. Severed, like that. Such a thing terrifies Siffrin to his core, and he squeezes Yoru's hand slightly. Because hell if they are not holding them still. ]
Why did you want to run from them? If, um. You wanna talk about it. I'm here.
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[ it’s that simple. it’s what he understands. ]
I didn’t want to leave any piece of me that could be hurt.
[ and so he burned. ]
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... They get it, then. Better to push away first than to be pushed away instead. Distanced, cut off-- all the same in the end. ]
... Did he... have someone else, that he liked?
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One of them, yes… but that isn’t the problem. He said I was his and he was mine and that wouldn’t change. [ not romantically. ] But it did change - and suddenly I wasn’t his anymore.
[ so there was no reason to play safe after that. surely, siffrin can understand the headache of this. ]
And the other… it’s complicated. There’s someone who’s marked him forever, who goes where he goes. I can’t do that. You saw it, when I die, I leave nothing. And… he doesn’t feel the way I feel about him. So. So… that’s it.
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